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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27697739">A Tired Man Will Do What A Sane Man Fears Most</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dulasair/pseuds/Dulasair'>Dulasair</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Twilight's Brain Shows Up Fashionably Late [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SPY x FAMILY (Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed, The Pandemic Made Me Do It</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 03:28:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,234</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27697739</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dulasair/pseuds/Dulasair</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Twilight just wants to come home to a quiet house and get some rest.... But is that what he needs? </p><p>It is my deeply held belief that Twilights brain will be the last part of him that realizes his feelings for Yor!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loid Forger | Twilight/Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Twilight's Brain Shows Up Fashionably Late [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030560</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>116</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Tired Man Will Do What A Sane Man Fears Most</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Agent Twilight shivered as the cold wind picked up. It seemed to slip through every seem in his winter coat and cut at his skin. He never liked the cold, it remined him of days long ago; dark, lonely, hungry days. Even though he knew he was only minutes from home it did little to comfort him. He was already tense from the nonstop missions and this weather only worsened his mood. He was even later than he thought he would be finishing up his work and still needed to cook dinner and help Anya with her homework before he could even think of rest… but it wasn’t really rest was it… his homelife was another mission: Perfect Father. He couldn’t leave his guard down. Twilight stopped to take a breath in front of his apartment building and forced a smile, it wouldn’t do for neighbours to see a husband so clearly unhappy walking home. A master of many faces, he could fool anyone, but Twilight genuinely doubted his ability to keep this grin the whole way up the stairs. He did of course, no matter how exhausted, Twilight would always hold it together. He had to. If he failed then other people would get hurt. As he approached his front door he heard a familiar male voice on the other side. Great! This was all he needed. A visit from his brother in law. </p><p>“Papa is home!” Anya bounced from the coffee table where she was seated next to Yuri to hug her father as soon as he opened the door. Twilight quickly pulled off his coat and hugged her back, aware of the eyes that were on him. Looking up he feigned surprise “Oh Yuri, I didn’t see you there. Welcome!”</p><p>“Hmm maybe it is I that should be welcoming you, Loi-Loi. You are home awfully late” Yuri countered narrowing his eyes is visible animosity. Twilight simply ignored it, he knew that the secret police officer disliked him and he didn’t have the energy to try and charm him tonight. He just had to swallow his tongue while Yuri was here. Not an easy task on its own, doubly so with all the other work he had to do tonight. Smelling the air he could already deduce that Yor had taken dinner upon herself. Twilight winced in apprehension but it was at least one less thing for him to do, now on to the next.  “Well I am afraid I am going to have to be very rude and whisk Anya away to do her homewo-“ Twilight stopped as he came close enough to see that scattered contents of the table; Anya’s School books. </p><p>“Oh we are basally done, aren’t we Anya! Yor asked me to help after I got here.” Yuri gloated, the sugared tone did little to hide the barbs as the officer side-eyed Loid . “I guess she just must think I am better at this than you are” he finished with a wry smile. </p><p>“Really? Thank you. That’s a huge… help” Twilight offered in return. He looked down as Anya retook her seat next to her uncle and what he felt reminded him of the cutting cold outside. He may be a master of faces but Twilight didn’t even realise how visibly this had thrown him. “I could take over if you want?”. Yuri was having too much fun with this to stop now though, he has never actually gotten the perfect Loid to falter before. “I don’t think it would be good for Anya to change teachers half way through, don’t you agree?” his voice dripping in faux-concern. </p><p>Twilight gritted his teeth. Yuri was right, but why did that annoy him so much. It was a huge help and he should be happy for one less job. So why did it sit with him so poorly. Luckily for him, Loid had a little, telepathic, guardian angel. “Uncle Yuri is right Papa! I should stick with him! He doesn’t get any of this stuff and I need to explain it!”</p><p>The spy hid the smile from his lips, but not his eyes as Yuri reacted with genuine horror at Anya’s insult. “ WHAT!? I have broken down the basics of long division three times now and you still don’t understand!” Yuri replied, aghast. “And who’s fault is that?” Anya countered “Papa you better go help Mama with dinner” and then let out a long exhausted sigh “ this is going to take a while”. Twilight complimented his daughter on a good idea and left her with a wounded Yuri, desperate to bring this encounter to an end. </p><p>Walking into the kitchen he was shocked with how pleasant it smelled. “Welcome home Loid” Yor greeted him without looking up from the vegetables she was slowly, intensely cutting. She seemed as if she was afraid they would suddenly move and jump at her. “It sounds like a lot of fun out there” even though she never looked up he could see the smile that pulled a little too heavily on one of her cheeks. </p><p>“It is a wonder that Anya isn’t doing better in gym class, because she is certainly giving Yuri the run around” he jested and Yor barked with laughter in response. Immediately she looked embarrassed but it teased a smile on Twilight’s lips “can I help you with anything?”<br/>
“Could you cut up an onion for the gravy?” she asked, gesturing to the one she had already pulled out and left with the rest of the ingredients. Twilight followed his order “What are you making?”<br/>
“A roast that I remember my parents making, although with a few changes” she admitted.<br/>
“Oh! What’s the difference?”<br/>
“Well I don’t remember exactly how it was made so I know that it won’t be the same but the main change is that is it roast mutton instead of rabbit” Yor finally looked up to her fake husband with a grimace “I wasn’t going to tell Anya what is was but something I did on the way to the butcher must have given her an idea. She went into hysterics begging me not to cook the poor little bunnies.”<br/>
Twilight laughed. He wanted to be more disappointed in Anya for being a picky eater. He had caught an eaten more that one rabbit in his youth but they were tough times and he couldn’t begrudge his daughter for not living through them. He tipped the minced onion into a pan and begin to fry them under Yor’s Instruction. “So is this something you made with your parents?” Loid questioned. </p><p>“Yes and no. I used to help my dad with the snares and then collet the rabbits the next morning. Go figure that the only time I helped make a good meal it was with ki-“ Yor cut herself off. “Well anyway I always remember it as a meal we would make together” she smiled fondly.  </p><p>Twilight mirrored her smile but her story had stirred something in him, pulling that cutting feeling back to the surface. “Thank you for getting dinner this evening. I know that it is my job. I will try to be home earlier to cook tomorrow and I will clean this evening to make it up to you”. Yor raised an eyebrow as she pushed the tray of vegetables into the oven. “Make it up to me? This isn’t a barter system Loid” She tittered “anyway I had decided this morning that I would make dinner tonight. You looked so tired I felt like you needed to take it easy”. If these words were meant to reassure Loid they were unsuccessful.<br/>
<em>Fantastic, you are slipping so much now even civilians are noticing Twilight!</em></p><p>And as if to confirm his fears Yor rested a hand on his shoulder “Everything ok Loid?”<br/>
“Yes, perfect!” he answered while flashing his best smile only to have her linger.<br/>
“I am just tired.” Again she looked unconvinced. God he really was going soft. Twilight knew that he wasn’t going to be able to just brush this off but now he was worried that he couldn’t lie. He was off his game. Yor had seen through his facade twice in a matter of seconds, a third and she might start to get suspicious. He took a deep breathe and organized his thoughts into something that would be safe to share with her. Twilight wasn’t so stupid as to not recognize the feeling raking over his skin. Inadequacy. He was failing his mission.</p><p>“I am not used to… being on the back foot. Listening to your story about your family just reminds me of all the things I am not doing. For you and Anya. I need to be better.”<br/>
“Better? Loid you are amazing! All you do is help other people; Anya, me, your patients. You want to be better? No one is perfect Loid, but I know but I know you are doing your best!” Yor encouraged him. Twilight wasn’t persuaded, perfect was his mission and anything less was a failure, but she continued. “besides, I kinda think you missed the point of the story. I remember it as such a happy time because it was something we did together. A family isn’t something you can hone, it is something you are a part of. You can try and do it all on your own but-“ Yor stuttered as she closed her eyes, like the next words were something she had to gather herself to say “but it isn’t something I would wish on anyone”. Yor opened her eyes again to earnestly looked at Twilight, but he felt to exposed and couldn’t keep her gaze “so please trust us to help you too”. </p><p>Trust wasn’t something Twilight had the luxury off. To fall and know you would be caught, did he ever have that? He knew he was fraying at the edges with all the extra work and he couldn’t keep this pace. Still, trusting someone wasn’t an option for a spy who wanted to stay alive, but he at least realised what he needed to say to reassure her. “Your right, know you are right” he relented. “ Admitting I need help is not something I am used to.. but I guess I can’t expect Ayna to learn without taking on a few new lessons myself” he mused as he looked back up at his wife. </p><p>“I think you will get used to it” Yor’s smile hadn’t lost any of its warmth “and if you still struggle with it you can get a little sneaky like me”. Her grin turned wicked in an instance “I know Yuri loves my cooking so I just had to promise him a meal to get him here. Once he was in the door I could convince him to help Anya with her homework! Another task off your To-Do list!” She giggled and winked.</p><p>Twilight was a little stunned “you had planned that from the start?” he let the merriment at the idea of the SSS officer being manipulated by his innocent wife creep into this expression. Yor defended herself bashfully “ Well I know that Yuri loves Anya, even if he will never admit it. Anyway, Yuri is family as well, you need to trust him to help too!”<br/>
<em>Trust an SSS officer? Right after I trust Bond with tomorrow’s chicken.</em></p><p>Loid to set up the dining table while Yor finished up and they all sat down to enjoy the meal. It was beautiful, the mutton was tough and the veg a tad overdone, but to sit down to a meal made by someone who truly wanted to make him feel better with her cooking. Well, Loid enjoyed every bite of it. Yuri made sure to shower his sister in praise but when Yor seemed to relish the complements given by her daughter and husband he let the wine he brought nurse his ego. Yor opened a second bottle but only got one glass before her brother polished that off too. After, dinner they were treated to jelly and ice cream. Anya seemed to realise what her mother was planning with dinner and insisted she help. Though the only thing Yor felt was safe enough for her to do was dissolve the packet of jello into water. None the less, her parents lauded her on her choice of flavour. It even seem to sweeten Yuri’s mood somewhat. Loid got up to clean the plates and Yor went to help him, clearly not fully certain he had taken her advice on board. When they came back they found Yuri passed out on the couch and Anya curled into Bond, asleep. </p><p>“Who do you think gave the other a harder time?” Loid joked.<br/>
“Oh Anya definitely came out on top. Yuri is just a little softie at heart.” Yor smiled, but her face sank quickly into worry. “It’s getting late and Yuri was such a big help today. I feel bad just kicking him out”. Twilight knew straight way what she really was trying to say: We should let him stay here tonight. “If that’s something you feel comfortable with then it is ok with me.”</p><p>This would always happen eventually, and they had prepared for it. Yor went to get her room ready and Twilight got Anya up for bed before they had even woken Yuri. Last thing they needed was for her to act like a husband and wife sharing a room was a big deal and give the whole game away. While Loid was reading her a story he heard Yor coerce her drunken brother into the “spare” bedroom. Anya drifted off with little resistance thankfully, leaving Twilight to sneak off without waking her and get to his own room. He wasted no time in changing into sleep pants and a loose t-shirt. If he was honest he wouldn’t normally bother but he was aware this was going to be challenging enough for Yor without him being naked. Truthfully, it was going to be hard for him too. Even though Yor had been amazing this evening he was still tired, he knew sharing a bed would mean a broken night’s sleep for him at best.  A soft knock on the door stirred him from his self-pity. It opened a crack and he heard Yor whisper “are you ready for me to come in?”</p><p>“Yes, I am decent” he answered. Yor entered wearing a nightgown, she had clearly changed when she was cleaning the bedroom, and her face scarlet. Twilight was glad this was her idea, he would have felt awful if he was the one suggesting it. The two stood in stony silence before Loid tried to break the ice. “Do you have a preference on which side you would like?” he gestured towards the bed. This didn’t help. In fact it just seem to confirm to Yor that she was indeed going to be sharing a bed with him and her blush deepened to a shade of almost purple. Quietly, she tip-toed to the left side of the bed and crawled under the sheets. Twilight flicked off the lights and easily found his way to the right side to join her.</p><p>He wished her a goodnight and she offered her returns, though not without a quiver in her voice. It only served to remind Twilight at how odd there relationship was. He has slept with many women but he had usually at least… you know… slept with them before that. For a man that didn’t exist, he was becoming aware that he had possibly been the most himself in the role of Loid than he had allowed himself since he had given up his identity. When his was happy or frustrated he could convey those feelings, today served to teach time that if he did try and hide them he would be found out. It was an peculiar condition he had found himself in with Yor. He knew he was still lying to her about the majority of his life but the simple lie they shared, their marriage, made things much easier than they had been in past relationships. </p><p><em>Maybe I should try this next time. Simply ask the target to pretend to be in a liaison with me.</em><br/>
The thought twisted his stomach in a way he was completely surprised by. Unlike the inadequacy earlier, he couldn’t as straightforwardly name this feeling. He had been a honeytrap before, and it was naive to believe he would never be again, but his reasoning did little to ease the tension inside him. Rather than to try peal too many layers away and reveal what was actually hurting him, he resolved to not think about it. Operation Strix was too important. There was no point distracting himself with missions that did not exist yet. The best thing he could do now is get some rest, though it was hard given his company. Twilight turned to face Yor. He could make out an outline of the back of her head in the low light and if he listened he could hear her breathing. The bed was much warmer than normal with the help of the extra occupant.  </p><p>
  <em>So please trust us to help you too.</em>
</p><p>As a spy he knew that trusting someone was a mistake but if he really examined it he couldn’t believe that Yor would betray him; she had already done so much for the mission and she didn’t even know the risks, all background checks had cleared her, and she really seemed to want to give her all to this family. </p><p>
  <em>A family isn’t something you can hone, it is something you are a part of.</em>
</p><p>It had been so long since he had been part of a family. He couldn’t remember his parents struggling like he felt he was struggling now, and they had raised him in a war. Was it because they had trusted each other like Yor suggested? If that was true, for the sake of the missions success, he was going to have to start doing the same. </p><p>Twilight stared a at the back of his wife. Trust was something that he would have to learn, but it is like he told Anya, learning is just a matter of practice. Twilight told himself that Yor was unlikely to pose him any danger , no not unlikely, she would not pose him any danger. Not only that but she was sharp as a tack, if someone wished him harm right now she was just as likely to notice it as he was. If she really wished to kill him there was a million ways she could done it before now, like when he had been knocked out in the bar, but she didn’t kill him, she had cared for him till he came to. He took deep breaths, and smelled the foreign aroma of his wife’s presence; her shampoo, her perfume, and something deeper that was really her. The sooner he acclimatized to them the sooner he would be comfortable with their being here. Twilight repeated over and over in his head that at least for right here and right now he was safe. He knew that is was trust was a stranger to him. That he was not going to be able to snooze soundly next to Yor for a while yet but Twilight would start his practice tonight. That was the last thought he had before he fell into a deep sleep.</p>
<h3></h3>
<p>Twilight was roused by piercing sound. He sat bolt upright and glanced around looking for the attacker but saw no one. It took him just a second to shake of the sleep off to realise that that the sound was actually his alarm. He groggily hit the button to silence it. His alarm had never actually woken him, he was always up before it. Twilight rubbed his eyes as he pieced things together, he had made a commitment to try and force himself relax though his was almost certain it would fail… which was the last thing he remembered. He looked at the alarm, 7.02. Eight and a half hours! When was the last time he had slept for Eight and a half hours straight before! </p><p>“Morning”. Twilight nearly jumped off the bed.</p><p>“Oh yes! Yor! Good morning!” he tried and failed to cover his surprise as he looked down at her. Yor… didn’t look great. It seemed that every hour of beautiful sleep Twilight had enjoyed he had stolen straight from Yor. “Oh you seem… I hope I didn’t keep you up. Did I snore?” Twilight knew he didn’t snore but he was still struggling to get his head around a good night of sleep and he didn’t know what to say. Or may he did snore now. Maybe snoring was something one did when they got eight and a half hours of rest! </p><p>“Oh no you barely made a sound. It was just… a lot” She averted her eyes as her blush deepened. Or maybe her blush had stayed that red overnight. Twilight thought of Yor lying next to him slumbering as she blushed a bright red all night. For eight and a half hours! AT LEAST!</p><p>Twilight still had enough of a conscience to feel bad despite his excitement. He told her as much but she was quick to brush him off. “It’s ok. I know you have to go into the office for a few hours and I have the day off. I can take a nap later. Plus it was me that wanted Yuri to take the my room” She reassured as she got up and stretched “I better go an fix myself up”. As she left to go to the bathroom the reality of the situation dawned on Twilight. He had of course wanted to practice relaxing more around Yor and learn to… trust her, but the speed of his progress was fast, even for a world class spy like himself. He didn’t just relax, Twilight was all too comfortable coming completely undone next to Yor. Why had he taken that risk?<br/>
He tried to analyse what he had done until he was shaken from his thoughts by Yor’s return and he took his leave to answer the Morning Call. Even though he worried about what happened last night, as he stood in front of the toilet he really did relish the feeling being truly refreshed. That was a good thing the mused as he washed his hands. A great thing he thought as he brush his teeth. If he was well rested then that was all the better for Operation Strix. That’s clearly why Twilight had done it, he clearly subconsciously knew what was best. Any other explanation posed a risk to his mission and he was not prepared to accept that.  </p><p>As he reasoned away a good thing, Twilight got started on breakfast for a full house. Yuri was the first to join him, although he didn’t so much join him as sit at the dining table and ignore him. As he was up Twilight offered him the first omelette. His brother in law took his first bite and sank in to himself, clearly unhappy with how good it tasted. It’s not every day you get a victory against the SSS, Twilight would take this one. Next up was Anya, who took the next omelette while questioning why Yuri was still here and asking did he have trouble with the dark or falling asleep alone. He denied both accusations but Anya was not convince and reassured him that she too had these problems and not to be scared. She was sure with time he would get over them as well. Yor made her appearance just as Loid had finished her omelette. She looked a lot better but still had all the tell tale signs of sleep deprivation. Twilight made a note: finish his mission as quickly as possible. Get home and take Anya and Bond for a walk to give his wife a break. </p><p>As he went back into the kitchen to make is own omelette Twilight listened absentmindedly to the conversation at the table. Yuri asked Yor why she looked to tired and was it his fault. Yor defended Loid by saying that “he treats me how every wife wants to be treated” and “My lack of sleep had nothing to do with him being cruel”. Two seemingly innocent statements that caused her brother to choke on the last of his omelette. Yuri stood as Loid sat at the table, tears welling in his eyes as thanked Yor for letting him stay but he would take his leave now. The had shut the door before either of them could get up to politely show him out. </p><p>“What was that about?” Twilight questioned. He might be WISE’s best spy but even he struggled to decode Yuri at times.<br/>
“I have no idea” Yor confessed with a shrug. If his sister couldn’t figure it out Twilight supposed he wasn’t going to be able to. Luckily for both of them, they still had their telepathic, guardian angel.<br/>
“Uncle Yuri was upset ‘cus Mama told him that Papa gave her a night of passion” Anya answered.<br/>
This time it was her parents turn to choke on breakfast. Well rested or not, Operation Strix didn’t get any easier.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Spy X Family: The manga that launched a thousand Shared Bed fanfics!<br/>I have read a few fics in which Loid has a terrible nights sleep because he has to share a room with Yor.<br/>But what if that's only the second worse thing that could happen to him, what if it is actually the best night sleep ever!</p><p>Time to flip the script</p></blockquote></div></div>
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